Help to Others

It's drawing on three years since the inflicted infidelity by my ex-husband, and the wound on my psyche appears to be healing. With every fiber of my being, I wish I had not experienced that pain, or even now, experience the ghost of that pain. But, with every fiber of my being, I am thankful for that pain, because through it, I have found I can help others who are experiencing similar situations and pain.

What I can say to those who are going through similar situations, is that one day you will look back and see that you have grown, you have matured, and that each day gets just a little bit easier. You may not see this when you are in the moment, I know I certainly did not, but here, almost three years later I can see the changes in me.

I am here to tell you, cry if you feel like it. Don't hold back. Scream & throw a fit, preferably in the privacy of your own home. But, don't call, text, or email the cheating fool. That person is a fool and it will only make you feel worse. If you want to call, text, or email, write a letter to that person, but don't send it.

Save it, because, what you really needed to do was just get those feelings and emotions out of your system. Remember, confronting that cheating fool bastard is only going to hurt you more in the end, because that cheating fool bastard doesn't care how much they hurt you, or even that they hurt you.

Now, having said all that, I still have my bad days. I still get angry. I still struggle with bitterness. But the bad days and the anger and the bitterness are occurring less often, and when they do occur, it is less severe.

My Aunt, who recently loss her husband of 35 years (my closest/favorite Uncle), spoke words of wisdom to me about Anger. I have taken what she said and applied it to these types of situations.

When you are angry at that cheating fool bastard, remind yourself that you are wasting energy being angry, because that cheating fool bastard doesn't know you are angry at him. And, even if he did, he doesn't care. So, let it go, let that anger go out of you. Breathe in peace & healing deep into your body and soul; breathe out the pain and anger. Repeat as necessary. Don't waste that energy on somebody who is not worthy.

Finally, remember this, you are a precious, beautiful, wonderful person who deserves the best your life has to offer. You don't need that cheating fool bastard. So be it.