Healing came quickly to me today, on this beautiful spring day, May Day (is Lei Day), in Durango, Colorado. Healing from my separation and divorce, for the most part, has come slowly. But as time marches slowly on from when I learned of the ex-husband’s infidelity in January of 2007, healing seems to come to me at a much faster pace.
It is usually difficult for me to return to Durango, CO to visit my adult children. On the one hand, I am excited that I will see the children and their assortment of pets; on the other hand, Durango is where I fled from Denver when I learned of the ex-husband’s infidelity.
I have walked many a mile in this little college resort town crying, yelling (in my head), praying, angry, frustrated, and deeply hurt. I have drunk way too much alcohol in this little town, in an attempt to numb the pain I was feeling. I have made way too many angry phone calls, written too many angry emails, and thought too many angry thoughts in this little town.
Today, as I walked keiki one’s dog on some of the same streets, I felt peace. I was not angry. As the negative thoughts and as the painful thoughts popped into my head, I acknowledged them for what they were, and moved on. Those thoughts did not torment me as they had in the past.
It is refreshing to have this healing; what I have been through, I don’t wish to happen to my worse enemy. By far, it was the hardest thing I have ever experienced. But, I would not give up these events, if given a mulligan in this life, for from these experiences. I am a much better, stronger person today, than I was back in January of 2007.
Last night, on Facebook, a friend recorded how she had helped her ex-husband in the days following his surgery. I wrote back to her, on what a good person she was for doing that; if it were I, I would have told the ex-husband, “Sucks to be you…” She wrote back that the mother in her knows that he needed someone to watch over him, that surgery is hard to go through alone.
As I walked keiki one’s dogs along the streets of Durango this morning, as healing rained slowly over my soul, I know that one-day, if similar circumstances arise, through God’s grace, God’s love, God’s forgiveness, and God’s healing I will be able to do for the ex-husband what God asks me to do. Amen.
